Where hope is lost, it can be found again

2007 — It’s a year in the history of Kenya that most want to forget… if only they could.

Two months of brutal tribal conflict robbed over 1,000 people of their lives—countless others of their loved ones. You may remember the horrific images as they peddled the news cycle.

2007 — that was the last time Grace saw her parents. Not that she’d remember; she was only 3.

What happened to them? Where have they been for the past 12 years? We’ve asked those questions, too, and many more.

We may never learn the answers. It’s probably for the best that we don’t know.

Desperately Disconnected

Grace is a lost soul. Desperate for connection, yearning for a place to ‘belong’. From that family-splitting moment, instability is all she has known.

Institutions are no place for a child to grow up and develop healthily, this is now widely accepted. Yet, Children’s Homes remain commonplace. Kenya boasts 850 registered orphanages; add to that the unknown number of unregistered ones, and you’ve got yourself a lot of Children’s ‘Homes’!

They may have ‘home’ in their title, but despite their good intentions, they often fall short of this aspiration. Being unable to provide the welcoming love and non-judgemental acceptance that nurtures individual identity.

But for many years, that’s all Grace has known. Each night, she settles down to sleep in a dormitory. Her tummy is full, and there’s a roof over her head, but the cry of her heart bounces and echoes unanswered off the walls. She wants, nay, she yearns, to belong.

An Unlikely Connection

We first met Grace in 2018 following her admission to a local children’s remand home. At first, communication was a challenge. You see, her difficulty with hearing and speech means that she is reliant upon sign language.

One of our social workers, Carol, made a strong connection with Grace. They understood one another from the start. What made this even more amazing was the fact that Carol had never studied sign language. But communicate? They could.

Excluded by stony silence. Often misunderstood. It’s hard to put into words the pain that we saw Grace carry. Hers was a life of deep inner sadness. A life of many tears.

Many tried to connect Grace with a home. All failed. But we refused to stop trying. We believe it is God’s eternal intention for all to belong within a family.

Over time, a collage of threadbare memories began to form. A family… a Mama… tea plantations. Grace repeatedly formed an inverted ‘v’ in front of her chest … the ‘sign’ for home – the shape resembling a roof of protection!

Were her memories trustworthy? Probably not. They’re fuzzy at best, but they are all we had to go on.

The last throw of the dice

After 465 days at the remand home with no visible outcome on the horizon, Carol chose to take a step of faith.

Carol and Grace boarded a public matatu (think mini-bus) and travelled over 2 hours to Kericho. A town renowned for its lush green and perfectly manicured tea plantations.

Once there, they wandered. Hopefully, something would connect and ignite those dim-glowing memories into flame. But nothing sparked.

Carol is a tenacious, faith-filled woman. So, undeterred, she decided to regroup and rest at the local rehabilitation school. Just like the menacing storm clouds overhead, she wanted to gather herself before venturing out for another try.

Another unlikely connection

Having seated themselves outside the manager’s office, a woman entered and sat opposite. After a while, her gaze settled and fixed with an uncomfortable intent upon Grace.

Then, the subtle probing began. “Where are you from Madam?”, “Why are you here?” Carol elaborated.

That’s when it happened…

“I recognise this girl!” she said — Boom! We had a connection!

Miracle upon miracle

What happened next is only described as miraculous.

This lady had arrived to visit with her daughter. Remarkably, it could have been any other day or time, but it ‘happened’ to be that exact moment that Carol and Grace were there. A few minutes either way and the opportunity would have passed.

The lady had seen Grace at a local school where children with a disability attended. Would Carol mind if she accompanied them to the school right now? As they left the building block to go, who should they meet? None other than the headmaster of that very school.

For the sake of brevity, they went to the school and, yes, Grace had attended and lived nearby. As they entered the school gates, children came running, shouting Grace, Grace! It was a moving moment of reconciliation. Grace was overjoyed!

It turns out that Grace lived with a family that was working on one of the local tea plantations. As they were walking to find the home, a local man stopped them; he recognised Grace, too. He knew the place where she’d stayed, and he would take them there!

That day, Grace met with her foster sister, Queen. Their mother had moved away, but Queen welcomed Grace with open arms. In fact, she wanted Grace to stay with her there and then, but there was more work to be done.

A bump in the road

Grace’s foster mother, Akinyi, didn’t want to take her back. She’d moved on with life and had a new husband and family. Anyway, Grace had been a difficult child.

Grace’s life with Akinyi

Akinyi first met Grace in the town of Kericho. She’d alighted from a vehicle and was standing all alone, stranded.

It was getting late into the evening, and being such a young girl, she was vulnerable and in danger.

Having reported the situation at a local police station, Akinyi received permission to rescue the abandoned girl and take her home. And that’s how things remained for the next 10 years or so. During this time, Grace ran away often, and each time, she’d be returned by the police or a government official.

Akinyi discovered that Grace’s only memories were of having lived on a Lakeside and that both her parents and brother died. The latter, from a snake bite, whilst swimming.

There was no way to accept Grace back. She’d been very stubborn and difficult — she’d stolen, and, anyway, her new husband couldn’t accept her.

Such setbacks are commonplace to our reintegration team. You think you’re making progress when slam! The door is shut in your face.

But our team are patient yet resolute in their determination. That door closed but we go again and …

… Another door opens

Discouraged and disappointed, Grace returns to the familiar surroundings of the local children’s remand home. We are all struggling to keep hope alive.

Behind the scenes, though, something is different. Our team and Queen, the foster sister, continue to communicate. And, although widowed with 2 children of her own, Queen is unwavering in her desire to provide a family for Grace.

The saving Grace!

3 long months later Queen attends a meeting at the remand home. It is during this meeting that she presents her plan. The family and community have agreed, and if the authorities are willing, they would like Grace to go and live with them.

That very day, having said her goodbyes, Grace walked out of the remand home, we hope for the last time. Accompanied by our social worker, Carol, she boarded public transport and made her way … home.

For now, we will call the family daily and visit with Grace weekly. Then, as the family bond becomes healthy and strong, we will gently make our exit.

Finally, Grace has what she longed for all those years.

Notes:

1 – Brennan Manning (2009), The Furious Longing of God [Kindle Edition]. David C. Cook; New edition, USA, Page 36